DEAR ABBY: While I love visiting my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren, I’m uncomfortable because their home is so untidy. I have offered many times to help with the laundry, dishes, picking up toys and even cleaning. They always say no. They say it’s their home and I’m not there to do chores.
They know I enjoy cleaning and organizing and that it gives me a sense of calmness. I try to look past the clutter, dirty dishes and food particles left on the floor, and to enjoy spending time and playing with my grandchildren. But it’s getting harder to block out the mess each time I visit.
They live several hours away, so I usually spend a night or two while visiting. For them to visit me is difficult due to their schedules. How can I tell them how much visiting them under these conditions increases my anxiety without offending them? — TIDY MAMA IN PENNSYLVANIA
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