DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for decades. My husband, who has always been very overweight, has made many promises to remedy it with no follow-through. He continues to overeat and avoid physical activity, while constantly complaining about aches, pains and fatigue. Frequently, when we go out, he wolfs down his food, and I am left to fend off waiters who want to clear our plates because he’s finished.
When we were at dinner with friends, my husband was first to the buffet, ate twice as much food as everyone else and finished long before anyone else was done. A few friends commented on it. He has high blood pressure and cholesterol that can no longer be managed with medication. Our sex life is terrible due to his weight and inability to perform. Medication no longer helps with this either.
His cardiologist strongly recommended changes that there’s little chance he will implement. In fact, my husband’s first meal after that appointment was a steak hoagie and fries. He has been in therapy for many years for a myriad of issues, and we have also started couples therapy. I love my husband, but I am very sad that he is willing to trade what should be quality years as we age for self-induced disability. Please tell me how to cope with this. Your advice is welcome. — DISAPPOINTED IN FLORIDA
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