DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I ran into an old friend I hadn’t seen in more than 25 years. We went to dinner the following week. The dinner lasted three hours. Abby, she talked the entire time! It was a mix of grandiose stories, complaints about her health, complaints about her relationships and an attempt to make me feel guilty for not contacting her sooner. I tried to excuse it, telling myself, “It’s been decades; of course she has a lot to say.”
Every subsequent interaction followed the same pattern, with an expectation of far more of my time and energy than I was comfortable giving. At one point, she even sprinkled in a little condescension about my political leaning. I started feeling anxious before seeing her and drained afterward.
Over a year ago, I decided to take a step back. I told her I’d reach out when I felt up to socializing again, and I haven’t contacted her since. Despite that, she’s continued to call and text. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I have no interest in the friendship. At the same time, continuing to ignore her feels unkind. I know this will hurt her, but what’s the most honest (and least painful) way to tell her I don’t want further contact? — GHOSTING HER ISN’T WORKING
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