DEAR ABBY: A friend’s wife’s elderly biological father was killed in a one-car auto accident recently. She had been estranged from him for as long as I can remember (more than 30 years?) and told me over the years how much she hated him. She adored her stepfather, who died a few years back.
My friend is now upset with me because I failed to send condolences to his wife following her father’s death, despite the hateful feelings she had voiced about him. I certainly had reached out to her after the death of her stepfather, for whom she cared very much.
What is the rule of etiquette when a person loses a family member they hated? What would I even say? “Sorry for your loss”? It just seems that any sentiment would be fake. — NOT INSENSITIVE IN ARIZONA
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