DEAR ABBY: There are two significant secrets in my family, and as I’m a member of the oldest generation and likely in my last decade, I wonder if they should see the light of day.
The first involves my cousin. He’s a year older than I am and doesn’t know he was adopted. My older sister was 10 when his parents brought him home. She remembers it vividly, and my mother and I talked about it from time to time. My cousin has led a challenged life of addiction and estrangement. He blames his parents and “inherited characteristics” for many of his problems — his mother’s addiction to anxiety meds, his father’s poor eyesight, etc. Should I share with him what I know?
The second secret involves my first wife. We divorced 40 years ago, and although we don’t talk, our two children are a prominent part of my life. My ex lives a life of isolation. She is angry and has difficult relations with everyone. What I know is that she had a baby while in high school and gave it up for adoption. I suspect that her guilt about it has caused her withdrawal and alienation from everyone in her family. Should I share with our children that they have an older half-sibling? — KEEPER OF SECRETS
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