DEAR ABBY: I am a 54-year-old woman who, after 40 years, reconnected with my childhood best friend, “Neil.” We are now engaged. I have no children, but Neil has two girls ages 11 and 13. The 11-year-old is in therapy and on medication for depression and anxiety. I love them as if they were my own. Their mother is useless and irresponsible, and Neil can’t stand her.
My problem is that his behavior is not much better. Neil has severe anger issues. He has cursed at me and called me horrible names (in front of the girls) many times. Since we started couples therapy, he has improved, but he still displays anger issues, has a drinking problem and has no control over his children. They have no rules, discipline or any kind of parenting from him or their mother.
I am miserable and want to leave. We’ve been together almost five years, and I don’t want to hurt him again. He’d be destroyed. Worse, the girls would be devastated. I’m scared about how the younger one would react. I would also be devastated.
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