DEAR ABBY: I am 39 and have been with my husband for 20 years. We got together when we were young, and our two kids are almost grown. Early in our relationship, he cheated on me several times. I was able to move past that for the most part. We have a solid relationship and life now. A few of my ex-boyfriends have reached out to me over the last 18 months. I have removed myself from all social media and job websites, but they keep finding me.
One of these men is occupying more time in my head than he should. I cannot stop thinking about him, and about a year ago we connected over the phone. Nothing happened in person. I felt awful, and I told him I could no longer talk to him. He found me again through a friend, and intruding thoughts are creeping back in all the time.
I never got the opportunity to date around like my spouse did; he has slept with many women. I have only ever slept with him. I feel like I missed out on something. I think I know the answer, but I can’t talk to anyone else about this. — WONDERING IN THE NORTHWEST
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