DEAR ABBY: After a tumultuous breakup, I reconnected with two men through friends. I’ve known and liked them both for years. One lives in Europe; the other lives here in New York. Both are wonderful, respectful and caring, and I feel beyond lucky. Both say they are in love with me and want to pursue a serious future. Call me crazy, but I love them both for different reasons. How do I possibly choose?
Do I choose the romantic European dreamer who makes me believe in magic but may eventually annoy me with his dreams and lack of action, plus the citizenship challenges? He’s fun, romantic, spontaneous and lets me embrace all of me. I feel so alive and loved, but I’m unsure if it would fade once kids and real life are in the picture.
Or do I build a safer future with the brilliant and calming stateside friend? He is deeply empathetic, hardworking, introverted and creative. I worry that we are only friends at our core and that I could grow bored or tired of his deep emotions. What is most important in a life partner? I’m terrified to choose the wrong one. I like who I am with for different reasons when I’m with each of them. — FACING A BIG DECISION
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