DEAR ABBY: Our dear mother passed away 2 1/2 years ago, which was very sad for me and my three siblings. Her passing happened on my adult son’s birthday. I try hard to focus only on the happy occasion of celebrating my wonderful son on his day, but my older sister sends me sad messages, stories, pictures, etc., usually starting a few days before. How do I tell her I prefer she not remember this day as the day our mother died, but rather the day my son, who is her godson, was born? It doesn’t mean I didn’t love our mother, or that I don’t think about her all the time, but I need this date back. — SAD BUT HAPPY SISTER
DEAR SAD: You cannot prevent your sister from remembering the date of your mother’s death. It’s something she can’t forget. You can, however, tell her how her messages make you feel on the happy occasion of your son’s birthday and gently ask her to stop.
DEAR ABBY: Some people love to shop and love to give gifts. There are also people who don’t enjoy shopping and would prefer not to receive random gifts. Those who don’t enjoy shopping have a difficult time coming up with gift ideas. When they do, it is often regarded as unwanted or not to the recipient’s liking. Why should the ones who don’t enjoy shopping feel forced to shop for the ones who do love it? Is there a polite way to stop random gift-giving? — NO MORE GIFTS
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