DEAR ABBY: I am the youngest of four sisters. I lost one of them, “Rachel,” to cancer several years ago. She and I were considered the “failures” of the family because we had to work hard to take care of our families, whereas our other two sisters married into money. Rachel didn’t take part in many family get-togethers because, I’m guessing, she felt out of place. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now that she’s gone because I feel the same way.
It’s aggravating for me now when my sisters come to town. They don’t understand how hard we have to work to get by. They think we and our children, who are out working hard too, can take time off anytime to get together with them when they come on short notice. It’s aggravating, and I’m unsure how to approach this. Please help. — ‘FAILURE’ IN FLORIDA
DEAR ‘FAILURE’: Your “successful” sisters appear to be annoyingly obtuse. The next time you receive an invitation on short notice, patiently explain to them the difference in your lifestyle and theirs and point out that it precludes you changing your schedule at the drop of a hat. Then tell them the amount of time you need to prepare. (Why you would want to get together with anyone who makes you feel “less than” puzzles me.)
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