DEAR ABBY: I am married, but it isn’t perfect. My husband of seven years, for whatever reason, doesn’t like my family. My mom has now been diagnosed with early dementia. I want her to come live with us, but he doesn’t want that. If I even go by her home, he has a problem. I’m torn between saving my marriage or taking care of Mom. Please help me figure out what to do. — NEEDED IN THE VIRGIN ISLANDS
DEAR NEEDED: It’s time to carefully evaluate the quality of your marriage. When you married your husband, you promised to stay with him until death do you part. If your mother were out of the equation, would your marriage be better? Is he this controlling in other areas of your life?
Taking in a parent with dementia can be a full-time job. Are there other relatives who could take her in if you offer to participate in the care she will need? You have a lot of thinking to do, my friend. IF you were to end your marriage, would you have the stamina to care for your mother until the end?
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