DEAR ABBY: For four years, I tried to get my stubborn husband to get his hearing checked, once I realized it was decreasing. When he finally did, he had lost a significant amount. Now he seems to be declining mentally, and he refuses to get a checkup. I have told him that if he does not get himself checked out now to hopefully stop or slow down the process, I will not be there for him when he is in serious decline. Do you have any advice? — ULTIMATUM IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR ULTIMATUM: This is a tough one. When dementia starts happening, the person doesn’t always recognize what’s occurring. I am hoping that your husband has a doctor he sees annually for routine checkups. If he does, contact the doctor and explain your concerns so he or she can start “casually” evaluating your spouse during the next visit.
If he doesn’t have a doctor, reach out to the Alzheimer’s Association (alz.org) for specific advice on how to proceed. Be patient and persistent. The changes you are perceiving are not your husband’s fault. The reason he is resistant to getting help may be fear.
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