DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 40 years and have two grown children. My husband is controlling. He wants things done his way and only his way and will go on and on about it if something is done any other way. He tells me to make up my mind about stuff, but then he gets mad when I do and tells me all the reasons it was wrong. He has never hit me, but I feel mentally and verbally battered all the time. He has even hollered at me out in public, which was humiliating.
On the other hand, he is a good guy, too. He helps with the cooking, cleaning and laundry, and that’s something to brag about. I am just tired of feeling bad about myself and being embarrassed when he complains in front of our granddaughters, because I don’t want them to think that it’s OK for a male to holler at you and correct you in front of other people.
I can’t see throwing 40 years out the window. I have asked him to go to a marriage counselor with me, but he refuses. When I tell him that my father never, ever hollered at my mom in front of us, he tells me that I was raised in a make-believe world. It is affecting my health. My blood pressure is high, and I am on two medicines for it. Do you have any suggestions? — YELLED AT IN TEXAS
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