DEAR ABBY: Whenever my partner and I share errands or tasks, he never fails to comment on how much time and effort each of us puts into the project. He says things like, “You said it would only be an hour, but you took an hour and a half,” or, “You said you’d take a five-minute break and you took a half-hour.” When I respond, he replies, “I’m not complaining about it. I’m just telling you.” When I get upset, he accuses me of “getting defensive” or says he “doesn’t like how I’m treating him because he doesn’t treat me that way.”
Why do you think he feels it’s OK to make seemingly negative comments about my efforts and then tell me “it is no big deal” or he is “just making an observation”? How should I respond to his evaluations of me? — DOING MY BEST IN ILLINOIS
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