DEAR ABBY: My wife recently immigrated to our current residence in the U.S. from Canada. She has a 23-year-old son dealing with mental illness back in Canada. He refuses to remain in therapy or to hold a steady job, and he failed out of university.
My wife consistently lowers her expectations and continues to support him. As a result, he has grown comfortable with emotionally manipulating everyone in his family while wallowing in self-pity. He is no longer allowed into our home because of his disrespectful and violent behavior, but he continues to punish his mom for moving on with her life. When does this end? — GOING FORWARD IN TEXAS
DEAR GOING FORWARD: You and your wife have my sympathy. You both need a better way to cope with this sad reality. Her son is not going to change, and you cannot ignore him and pretend this will go away. Connecting with others who understand what you are going through can be an important source of support. An organization I have mentioned before in my column may guide you in the right direction. It’s the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Find out more by visiting nami.org.
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