DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, “Doug,” I’ve known for 30 years. I moved away, but we get together once or twice a year. I’ve known his wife longer than him and watched their son grow up, attending his sports activities when visiting and contributing to school fundraising activities. He’s a good kid.
I’ve recently heard rumors that Doug has made inappropriate advances toward and touched women within our circle of friends. It occurred once when I was there. Sadly, there has been more than one accusation. I do not distrust those rumors. While I didn’t witness it, the behavior following the event makes sense to me now.
I’m sad, disappointed, and a little angry. I have distanced myself from Doug because one of the victims is also a close friend. I feel guilty for maintaining a relationship with him as if nothing has occurred. I’m continually asked by Doug’s wife and son when I am going to visit again. Now that I’m semi-retired, I am out of excuses. I can’t just go off the grid, and I clearly don’t want to be the one to destroy the family. I also don’t want to dishonor the victim by behaving as if nothing has happened. Is there a way out of this? — TORN IN WISCONSIN
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