DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Al,” and I are retired and live on a farm with a great son and daughter-in-law. Al is the best person I have ever known, and he adores me. Everyone loves and respects him, and they seek his friendship, approval and advice, which is usually right. He’s a rarity. Our son “Trent” and his wife idolize him.
My issue? When people, especially the kids, need advice or have questions, they call Al. If they need help, they call me and ask for Dad. (I am never asked or called.) The kids do love me, but Al has the “magic.” I’m terrified at the idea of him passing before me. I’m afraid everyone will be mad at me for not dying first. This is not self-pity. I’d just like to feel needed and wise, too. Please advise me on how to not feel worthless because I’m not like my husband. — OVERLOOKED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR OVERLOOKED: In your marriage, your husband is the dominant partner, the figure who gets the majority of the attention. This happens often with politicians and entertainers. It takes a special kind of spouse to be as supportive as you are and have been.
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