DEAR ABBY: I work in an office with a man who has expressed an interest in me in various subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways, including winks. I have also caught him staring at me with intense longing. We communicate well, and he has told me I have influenced him. We are both disciplined, determined and accomplished men. I envy him for his easy smile, his self-confidence and his effortless, universal appeal.
This man is married with grown children. I am a widower, 21 years his senior. I am prepared to say to him, “You are spoken for, and I’m not a homewrecker. If you are ever single again, you and I should have a serious conversation. But unless that day comes, much will remain unsaid.” I suspect the two of us would have a good life together. I do not believe I am misreading his intent. Have you any advice for me? — INTERESTED IN WASHINGTON
DEAR INTERESTED: This younger colleague may be as attracted to you as you are to him. However, he could also consider you nothing more than a valued mentor. Because he is married, I’m concerned that if you say what you are thinking to him, it could disrupt your working relationship or even be considered harassment. Do not jeopardize your job by doing it.
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