DEAR ABBY: I am reaching out as a single mother grappling with a serious heart-lung condition. My son’s father abandoned us when I was pregnant, and I haven’t heard from him in more than a decade. Thankfully, my parents have been supportive co-parents during the years when my health made things incredibly challenging.
I have always encouraged my son to express his feelings and have assured him that his emotions are valid. We share a strong bond, and he feels comfortable discussing anything with me. Recently, he confided that he feels unsafe at his grandparents’ house, where he spends two nights a week. He revealed that his grandmother is verbally abusive and critical — laughing at him when he makes mistakes, calling him a “loser,” making sneering comments and speaking poorly of me when they are alone, even though she’s pleasant to my face.
My mother’s behavior is deeply troubling. My son is scared to have me confront her because he’s worried he will be punished for sharing his experiences. In any other scenario, I would tell my mother that until she chooses to not abuse, he won’t be staying over. However, we have a mediated agreement that allows for those two overnights a week. I fear my mother could manipulate the situation and lie to the courts to maintain this arrangement. What should I do? — HOPELESS AND OVERWHELMED IN OREGON
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