DEAR ABBY: I am an adult child of an alcoholic. My mother is a mean drunk. While growing up, I had to act as her therapist and deal with her co-dependency. I have been lucky to have processed a lot of the trauma in therapy and to have a loving and healthy family of my own now. We actively avoid Mom after 3 p.m. because I don’t want my kids subjected to her cruelty. I do not think it is healthy for them to be around abusive, inebriated people.
I am pregnant. My mom has always wanted to be in the delivery room for a birth. However, I would rather she not be in the delivery room with us. I don’t want to be around her when she’s drunk because of her tendency to make everything about herself, cause drama and upset me. I’d rather not have to deal with her narcissism while giving birth.
We had our first child during the COVID pandemic, so we had an excuse to not have her there. The birth was extremely traumatic, and we are lucky that our child made it. My godmother wants to be in the delivery room, since she could never have her own kids. I’d love for her to be there. We are very close and get along great. How do I broach the issue of wanting my godmother there but not my alcoholic mother? — DELIVERING THE NEWS
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