DEAR ABBY: My son took out a couple of education loans, which I cosigned when he was starting college 10 years ago. A couple of years ago, I found out (from someone else) that he never finished college. When I confronted him, he mentioned that he “intends” to finish college and is working toward it. He did not mention how many credits he has completed, what made him quit or why he didn’t consult me before dropping out. Shortly after that conversation, he stopped talking to or visiting me for a different reason. We haven’t seen each other in two years.
Recently, I received a notice from a debt collector regarding the loan. I tried to contact my son to figure out what he plans to do about the payments, but to no avail. He has always had terrible money habits. Until he stopped talking to me, he relied on me to rescue him whenever he got into money trouble. I had to pay off another of his education loans when he started defaulting a few years back.
Because of all of this, he owes me a significant amount of money. I am at an age where it is important that I build a retirement fund. If I have to pay off this loan, it will put a big dent into my savings. A few people have recommended I take legal action against him. I am, however, reluctant to do so for fear of severing my relationship with him forever. Is there a less aggressive way to have him take accountability for this loan? — MOM ON THE HOOK
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